So as many know me/Amanda deal with suicide ideation/ attempts and self injury. This has been a struggle I started doing something about in 2008. I had to get to the point that I let someone in. This was still not easy, I started seeing Doctor Hougen at Winneshiek Medical Center at that time and Jason Maret at Gundersen. It took me a year to open up things were not easy. Now in 2020 things are going much better. During this time i have struggled with self injury and last week this happened again. I have been getting really down on myself for this as if I could just chase the thoughts away. You can not! you only control what you do with hands and feet.
Our message is about getting mental health into the open, this is very real for me and my husband. It can get very discouraging and hard. We have to get this into the open and show people they are not alone. I was listening to SuperChicks and there was a song I have not heard before, its called HERO. I heard that it talked about a girl who was cutting and other issues I have dealt with. Somehow i did not feel so alone, it felt like there was other people out there dealing with the same thing and that HELPED.
Music is one means of getting the message out and can be powerful. You just have to be weary because Christian songs are songs of hope but there are secular songs that put these struggles on a pedestal and can lead you the other way. Below are some songs that I listen to a lot and never really thought about the message. Thought this might help someone in need.
Hero
This is the remix of Hero
No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
And any kindness from you might have saved his life
Heroes are made when you make a choice
You could be a hero – heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero – you might save a life
You could be a hero – you could join the fight
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she’s brave
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made
Heroes are made when you make a choice
You could be a hero – heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero – you might save a life
You could be a hero – you could join the fight
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he’s made
He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it’s his right
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old’s life
You could be a hero – heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero – you might save a life
You could be a hero – you could join the fight
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right
Little mikey d was the one in class
Who every day got totally harassed
This went on for years until he decided
That ever again would he shed another tear
So he walked out the door
Grabbed a 4.4 out of his father’s dresser drawer
And said I can’t take life no more
And like that a life is lost
But this ain’t even about that
All of us just sat back
And watched it happen
Thinking it’s not my responsibility
To solve a problem that isn’t about me
This is our problem
This is just one of the daily scenarios
In which we chose to cause a riot
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice
Be the voice
To those who won’t speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved
Changed, rearranged
Now it’s our job
To take a shot
Now don’t keep walking by
Now why didn’t you try
Cause you don’t want to exist
And never be seen
So let’s wake up
Change the world
Our time is now
You could be a hero – (our time is now) heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero – (our time is now) you might save a life
You could be a hero – (our time is now) you could join the fight
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right
Breaking the Habit
Memories consume like opening the wound
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume
I’m safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don’t want to be the one the battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize that I’m the one confused
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more than any time before
I have no options left again
I don’t want to be the one the battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize that I’m the one confused
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I’ll never be alright
So I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight
I’ll paint it on the walls
‘Cause I’m the one at fault
I’ll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I’ll never be alright
So I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I’ll never be alright
So I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight
I’m breaking the habit (tonight)
Does Anybody Hear Her
She is running
A hundred miles an hour
In the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon’s ever-widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She’s another two years older and she’s three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she’s going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And then walks in her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she’s going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
If judgment looms under every steeple
With lofty glances from lofty people
Who can’t see past her scarlet letter
And we’ve never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can’t see past her scarlet letter
And we’ve never even met her
Never even met her
Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she’s going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she’s going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
Cry Out to Jesus
To everyone who’s lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
When you said goodbye
And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right
There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
For the marriage that’s struggling just to hang on
They’ve lost all of their faith in love
And they’ve done all they can to make it right again, still it’s not enough
For the ones who can’t break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you’re not alone in your shame
And your suffering
There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus
When you’re lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
And for the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight
There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
And there is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
Oh, cry out to Jesus
Cry out to Jesus
I Need a Miracle
Well, late one night, she started to cry and thought he ain’t coming home
She was tired of the lies
Tired of the fight, but she didn’t want to see him go
She fell on her knees and said
I haven’t prayed since I was young
But Lord above I need a miracle
Well no matter who you are and no matter what you’ve done
There will come a time when you can’t make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one
praying Lord above, I need a miracle
I need a miracle
He lost his job and all he had in the fall of ’09
Now he feared the worst
That he would lose his children and his wife
So he drove down deep into the woods and thought he’d end it all
And prayed, Lord above, I need a miracle
Well no matter who you are and no matter what you’ve done
There will come a time when you can’t make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one, praying
Lord above, I need a miracle
I need a miracle
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
He turned on the radio to hear a song for the last time
He didn’t know what he was looking for even what he’d find
The song he heard gave him hope and strength to carry on
And on that night, they found a miracle
They found a miracle
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Whoa oh
In your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one, praying
Lord above, I need a miracle
Lord above I need a miracle
Not Gonna Die
Death surrounds
My heartbeat’s slowing down
I won’t take this world’s abuse
I won’t give up or refuse
This is how it feels when you’re bent and broken
This is how it feels when your dignity’s stolen
When everything you love is leaving
You hold on to what you believe in
The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flatline
No, not gonna die tonight
We’ve gotta stand and fight forever (don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We’ve gotta fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Break their hold
Cause I won’t be controlled
They can’t keep their chains on me
When the truth has set me free
This is how it feels when you take your life back
This is how it feels when you finally fight back
When life pushes me I push harder
What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger
The last thing I heard is you whispering goodbye
And then I heard you flatline
No, not gonna die tonight
We’ve gotta stand and fight forever (don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We’ve gotta fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Don’t you give up on me
You’re everything I need
This is how it feels when you take your life back
This is how it feels when you fight back
No, not gonna die tonight
We’ve gotta stand and fight forever (don’t close your eyes)
No, not gonna die tonight
We’ve gotta fight for us together
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
No, we’re not gonna die tonight
Not gonna die
(Not gonna die)
Not gonna die
(Not gonna die)
Not gonna die tonight
